To be Grateful

Is to be present. Constantly aware of what blessings you have been awarded.

I have been in one of those weeks where the work is constant... Rising at 4:30am... do a workout..go to work. Try to manage those stresses with grace and professionalism. (Trust me, this is not easy when you manage people. They are crazy.) Come home, eat a little something hoping that it doesn't turn into a lot of something... bad.

Try to finish the work that you could not do at the office. Go to bed..
Just when I think it is safe to complain and scream to the Universe "why me?! why this?!"
I get a reality check. They come from various sources...

Sometimes I get them driving home, passing a man with a cardboard sign, asking for help.

I get it when I overhear a story about a woman at work who was just diagnosed with breast cancer.

I get it when I watch the news...

The good thing, I think is that I am getting it more often. And I realize how tremendously lucky I am even with all of my "problems".

I get it.

Passings...

Today, in the middle of a long meeting...
Discussing "what ifs" and thinking about what comes to mind as you move through to a resolution..
Clarity rang in...

With a phone call from my Father...
"My brother, your Uncle Derby died today at 12:30pm."
Then it was quiet. What were these people talking about anyway...

I need to get out of that room
Figure out how make sure my Dad can pay respects to his brother..
My Uncle...

Phone calls back and forth...Detroit to San Diego
San Diego to LA
LA to Detroit... LA to San Diego..
San Diego to Detroit...

The only thing final so far is the end of a life...
Always grateful for the continuation of my own...

Narcissism

1. Egoism: 1 a: a doctrine that individual self-interest is the actual motive of all conscious action b: a doctrine that individual self-interest is the valid end of all actions 2: excessive concern for oneself with or without exaggerated feelings of self-importance

2. love of or sexual desire for one's own body

3. When someone close to you tells you that their uncle is dying and they will have to attend a funeral in the next week, and your response is: "So I guess that means you are not coming out.; You know I played 18 holes of golf today and did really well!; You can't afford to buy a ticket to Detroit. ; I guess funerals are important and you'll have to use your credit card. (while in the meantime they spend $500 on golf in one week.

Never once said "Oh I am sorry to hear that sweetheart. Are you okay? What are your plans? How can I help? How is your Dad taking the news? ... No. Nothing like that...

It is all about priorities...

"Narcissism and self-deception are survival mechanisms without which many of us might just jump off a bridge."Todd Solondz