You know, I read the book and found it to be unbelievably moving. A story that absorbed me from the very beginning. But that was some time ago and when I decided this evening to go and see the movie, I did not what to expect. Sure I heard the great reviews.. but don't they all have decent reviews to get you in the door?
In the theater, again.. I sat fully absorbed in this young girls life and death. Her struggle, along with that of her family to move on. To transcend. It was tense, extraordinarily creative visually, and quite engaging. Yes I did scream out loud a few times much to the dismay of my companion.
As the credits rolled, so did the tears down my cheeks. I was so affected by this story..this movie and the way it was told... And I remembered my own story. One long ago when I was about 23. I had a class I was taking on my own, for interest. I met this young man whom no one else seemed to talk to or befriend. I made no grand gestures, but I did say hello and lean toward politeness. After 2 months or so, he invited a few people out to his family's property to view the moons of Jupiter... he lived in the desert of San Diego county. I agreed, as did one or two others. Well the evening of the viewing, I had no idea I was the only one that would show up.
There was a scene in the movie where, the young girl having gone down underneath the earth with this man, suddenly realizes the mistake she made. The fatal mistake that she did not anticipate. You see this in her face and you feel it in your own bones.
As I sat that night, in the middle of desert with this young man and his father... Both white, me Black.... with no one for miles... I realized the mistake the I made. I felt it every pore, in the violent gushing of my own blood through my own veins... I think they knew I knew it too. Somehow I survived that evening...and to this day, I know that it was a miracle. Those people meant to do me harm. Permanent harm. But something changed their minds that night and I got to walk away. When I got to my car.. I traveled as fast as my wheels would spin. There were no cell phones then, no way to alert anyone. Nothing. I never went back to that class.. and I never saw those people again. But I also never forgot.
So tonight when I left this movie and remembered this incident, I could not stop crying.. I came home and hugged my puppy and basked in gratefulness.
So like Susie Salmon...
We are here for a time and then we are gone.
I wish you a long and happy life...
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Journey to Freedom
Going on a much-needed vacation excited her. The job had been stressing her but so had her relationship. So when he suggested that they go for a week to Tahiti, where she had never been, her heart could not help but race with anticipation.She hoped that he would not cancel at the last minute, as he had done before. The trip to London, canceled because she had not answered his phone messages in a timely enough fashion and he was having doubt. Then there was the trip to Arizona for a sport vacation… canceled because he was upset with her fondness over the new President of the United States. So many disappointments, yet she still had hope that this would go through and that it would be good time spent together.
About two weeks before their departure date, he called to tell her that there had been a change in plans and he hoped that she would not be upset. Here it was, she thought. The cancel call. He did not call to cancel, but to tell her that he invited two of his family members to travel with them. Relieved, she said “No problem!”At the airport, everyone was excited and ready to board the plane for the 9-hour trip. Boarding the plane after their traditional bloody Mary for her, and chardonnay for him, in the airport bar, all was good.
When they landed it was hot and gorgeous, and though fatigued from plane ride, she and his relatives were ready to hit the beach. He was ready to hit the bed for a nap. And so they did, and he did not rise until the next day. The plan was to do some sightseeing, have a nice lunch together and figure out some things to do during their visit. Beach time, museums on land and under water, waterfalls and nature preserves. At dinner on the second evening, the two of them were alone. He was quiet, so she started some conversation in which he reluctantly and sarcastically participated. Not new, she thought, but maybe she could break him out of it. Turning toward other diners, he gave a small scowl at a young woman and man with extensive tattoos. “That is so stupid and disgusting”, he said. “What is?” she replied as she was unsure of what he was referencing. “People with tattoos like that are stupid”. She responded that she thought it was quite intriguing and not stupid at all. Particularly in this part of the world where tattoos are intensely cultural and connected to spirituality. He looked at her with some disdain and told her that he could not even continue a conversation with her. That she was obviously so silly and stupid herself as to even think that. They finished their dinner in silence. And for the next few days, he did not speak to her unless absolutely necessary.
Since there was no conversation, there certainly was no sex between them or any other expressions of love and/or affection. Then one evening he called her into the bathroom. When she came in wondering what this could be about, he walked over and put his arm around her shoulder. He then walked her over to the toilet and opened it. Still not understanding what he wanted, he pointed to something inside the toilet. Literally a piece of shit is what his finger pointed towards as he asked her what it was and why it was there. When she said it looks like something that should be in the toilet and that she did not know where it came from. He told her it did not come from him, which he was quite sure about, so it must have come from her. He recommended that she clean it up, as it was quite disgusting for him. She did not clean it up and took her rest to the couch where she spent the rest of the trip in a beautiful place in a horrible situation.
About two weeks before their departure date, he called to tell her that there had been a change in plans and he hoped that she would not be upset. Here it was, she thought. The cancel call. He did not call to cancel, but to tell her that he invited two of his family members to travel with them. Relieved, she said “No problem!”At the airport, everyone was excited and ready to board the plane for the 9-hour trip. Boarding the plane after their traditional bloody Mary for her, and chardonnay for him, in the airport bar, all was good.
When they landed it was hot and gorgeous, and though fatigued from plane ride, she and his relatives were ready to hit the beach. He was ready to hit the bed for a nap. And so they did, and he did not rise until the next day. The plan was to do some sightseeing, have a nice lunch together and figure out some things to do during their visit. Beach time, museums on land and under water, waterfalls and nature preserves. At dinner on the second evening, the two of them were alone. He was quiet, so she started some conversation in which he reluctantly and sarcastically participated. Not new, she thought, but maybe she could break him out of it. Turning toward other diners, he gave a small scowl at a young woman and man with extensive tattoos. “That is so stupid and disgusting”, he said. “What is?” she replied as she was unsure of what he was referencing. “People with tattoos like that are stupid”. She responded that she thought it was quite intriguing and not stupid at all. Particularly in this part of the world where tattoos are intensely cultural and connected to spirituality. He looked at her with some disdain and told her that he could not even continue a conversation with her. That she was obviously so silly and stupid herself as to even think that. They finished their dinner in silence. And for the next few days, he did not speak to her unless absolutely necessary.
Since there was no conversation, there certainly was no sex between them or any other expressions of love and/or affection. Then one evening he called her into the bathroom. When she came in wondering what this could be about, he walked over and put his arm around her shoulder. He then walked her over to the toilet and opened it. Still not understanding what he wanted, he pointed to something inside the toilet. Literally a piece of shit is what his finger pointed towards as he asked her what it was and why it was there. When she said it looks like something that should be in the toilet and that she did not know where it came from. He told her it did not come from him, which he was quite sure about, so it must have come from her. He recommended that she clean it up, as it was quite disgusting for him. She did not clean it up and took her rest to the couch where she spent the rest of the trip in a beautiful place in a horrible situation.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Ghetto not so Fabulous....
You know, I hate stereotypes.
I used to very reluctant to tell people where I grew up out of fear that they would label, judge and dismiss me. As I have grown older, the exact opposite view has occupied my consciousness. I now want people to know that I was raised in Compton, so that they have a different paradigm in which to operate. Not all people from a so called "ghetto" are stupid, drug addicted, gang members.
But in my most recent visit home... The following images are what greeted me. I thought to myself
"What the hell is going on here. This cannot be real" A grown woman chasing young boys down the street in her underwear. Cursing them. Beating them. In her front yard for the whole neighborhood to witness.
I was saddened because she blew the stereotype out of the window. Shattered it to pieces and rebuilt it in a worse way. Here I am ... doing exactly what I feared other people would do to me..
judge. Dismiss. Label.
So what do I do as another woman who lives on the street imaged here? I can't help her. Intervene and make her life better. I simply must do the best that I can to set a different example so people know that 1 person can never represent a whole group...
I used to very reluctant to tell people where I grew up out of fear that they would label, judge and dismiss me. As I have grown older, the exact opposite view has occupied my consciousness. I now want people to know that I was raised in Compton, so that they have a different paradigm in which to operate. Not all people from a so called "ghetto" are stupid, drug addicted, gang members.
But in my most recent visit home... The following images are what greeted me. I thought to myself
"What the hell is going on here. This cannot be real" A grown woman chasing young boys down the street in her underwear. Cursing them. Beating them. In her front yard for the whole neighborhood to witness.
I was saddened because she blew the stereotype out of the window. Shattered it to pieces and rebuilt it in a worse way. Here I am ... doing exactly what I feared other people would do to me..
judge. Dismiss. Label.
So what do I do as another woman who lives on the street imaged here? I can't help her. Intervene and make her life better. I simply must do the best that I can to set a different example so people know that 1 person can never represent a whole group...
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
One day to the next...
One day you are fine.
Worrying about your lists of things to do. Frustrated with the state of affairs locally and globally.
Maybe grateful for some things that go your way... Planning your future..
I just learned this evening that a friend and colleague of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer last week and will undergo surgery next week. In a flash it all changes. Those things that were once so important are now nothing. Now things that you wish you never wasted your time and energy on. But you did. We all do.
We can change that.
Be grateful for each and every moment that you have your health, your family..your friends.
Now I am thinking of the ways in which I can be a good friend to someone who needs me... who needs all of those around her... to push her toward healing. And reminds each of us of what is truly important in this life.
People
Love
Compassion
Peace
Worrying about your lists of things to do. Frustrated with the state of affairs locally and globally.
Maybe grateful for some things that go your way... Planning your future..
I just learned this evening that a friend and colleague of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer last week and will undergo surgery next week. In a flash it all changes. Those things that were once so important are now nothing. Now things that you wish you never wasted your time and energy on. But you did. We all do.
We can change that.
Be grateful for each and every moment that you have your health, your family..your friends.
Now I am thinking of the ways in which I can be a good friend to someone who needs me... who needs all of those around her... to push her toward healing. And reminds each of us of what is truly important in this life.
People
Love
Compassion
Peace
Monday, September 07, 2009
Crime in the City
They did get all of my music..which is indeed a temporary loss. But completely replaceable...One can only hope they do not choose this line of work for a long term career.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Oldies but Goodies
The plan was clear and in place.
My sister and I planned to have a joint birthday party for our parents. Something we had never done that would serve two purposes: Bringing family together and bringing the parents together.
The Evite was sent, the responses (though few) came in.. and we figured, though small, it would still be a nice event. Being a real cultural phenomenon, we knew that at least a few more people would show up than had rsvp'd. We invited 14 and 35 showed up. Not bad...
The day began with the expectation that one of our uncles would come over early to help barbeque the meat. Neither my sister or I have a lot of experience in this field so we were happy to have some help. We got up early prepared to get some things taken care before we get dressed for guest arrival. I ran downstairs to move my car out of the driveway so that my sister could start running errands. It was then, that I noticed, while she was talking to me about what needed to get done, there was a file of green glass next to my car. I heard nothing of what she said, but interrupted and asked her, "Do you see that?" She turned around and saw the giant hole in my drivers side window.. Smash and grab. Someone broke the window and snatched whatever they could get out of my car. After a call to the police, official police report and fingerprinting of my car, I collected myself and let go. This wasn't so bad. I still had my car..and I also still had the golf clubs that were in my trunk. All they got was a Maui tote bag with my old golf shoes, some clothes and another pair of shoes that needed repair. Apparently the robbers wanted my old golf shoes even less than I did. I found them in the middle of the street around the corner from my sister's hours. Tossed out of a car window in disgust and frustration I am sure.
As we welcomed Uncle Will into the backyard to set up the bbq and get started, we had a sinking feeling. When he volunteered to do the cooking, it seemed too good to be true. It was. Granted it was 100 degrees outside... but my uncle did NO cooking and all the drinking. He had 4 beers in the span of 1.5 hours. He lit the grill and proceeded to sit down with his Bud Light. He did not get our of his chair except to look for more ice.
Since I was having my crash course in grilling..while cleaning and cooking other items.. the panic..no, not panic. Just sheer frustration was kicking in. My sister spent 3 of the wee hours the morning before downloading "old school" music from iTunes. While we were working and cooking, we put on the ipod to stay in the party mood. Suddenly the music stopped. The ipod was frozen and the reset was not working... what is going on?
I worked on fixing the music while she washed dishes. I heard a scream and saw a fountain of water shooting the kitchen sink. What happened? My sister looked at me in disbelief...in her hand was the head of the faucet and water was soaking her from head to toe. I stifled my giggle and ran to turn of the water. While I mopped, she called the plumber only to find out they could not come out until 7pm... it was 11am when we called.
Okay..no worries. we can handle this.. Yes we can!
Cleaning up the kitchen, I decided to run the garbage disposal. Bad move. No movement and no sound. No garbage disposal either. It too decided to go on strike. Murphy's Law was in action full force.
For all the drama and trauma..the party turned out to be a wonderful event! Good food, good company... and hilarious karaoke. Many good ...and now funny memories will be our keepsake.
My sister and I planned to have a joint birthday party for our parents. Something we had never done that would serve two purposes: Bringing family together and bringing the parents together.
The Evite was sent, the responses (though few) came in.. and we figured, though small, it would still be a nice event. Being a real cultural phenomenon, we knew that at least a few more people would show up than had rsvp'd. We invited 14 and 35 showed up. Not bad...
The day began with the expectation that one of our uncles would come over early to help barbeque the meat. Neither my sister or I have a lot of experience in this field so we were happy to have some help. We got up early prepared to get some things taken care before we get dressed for guest arrival. I ran downstairs to move my car out of the driveway so that my sister could start running errands. It was then, that I noticed, while she was talking to me about what needed to get done, there was a file of green glass next to my car. I heard nothing of what she said, but interrupted and asked her, "Do you see that?" She turned around and saw the giant hole in my drivers side window.. Smash and grab. Someone broke the window and snatched whatever they could get out of my car. After a call to the police, official police report and fingerprinting of my car, I collected myself and let go. This wasn't so bad. I still had my car..and I also still had the golf clubs that were in my trunk. All they got was a Maui tote bag with my old golf shoes, some clothes and another pair of shoes that needed repair. Apparently the robbers wanted my old golf shoes even less than I did. I found them in the middle of the street around the corner from my sister's hours. Tossed out of a car window in disgust and frustration I am sure.
As we welcomed Uncle Will into the backyard to set up the bbq and get started, we had a sinking feeling. When he volunteered to do the cooking, it seemed too good to be true. It was. Granted it was 100 degrees outside... but my uncle did NO cooking and all the drinking. He had 4 beers in the span of 1.5 hours. He lit the grill and proceeded to sit down with his Bud Light. He did not get our of his chair except to look for more ice.
Since I was having my crash course in grilling..while cleaning and cooking other items.. the panic..no, not panic. Just sheer frustration was kicking in. My sister spent 3 of the wee hours the morning before downloading "old school" music from iTunes. While we were working and cooking, we put on the ipod to stay in the party mood. Suddenly the music stopped. The ipod was frozen and the reset was not working... what is going on?
I worked on fixing the music while she washed dishes. I heard a scream and saw a fountain of water shooting the kitchen sink. What happened? My sister looked at me in disbelief...in her hand was the head of the faucet and water was soaking her from head to toe. I stifled my giggle and ran to turn of the water. While I mopped, she called the plumber only to find out they could not come out until 7pm... it was 11am when we called.
Okay..no worries. we can handle this.. Yes we can!
Cleaning up the kitchen, I decided to run the garbage disposal. Bad move. No movement and no sound. No garbage disposal either. It too decided to go on strike. Murphy's Law was in action full force.
For all the drama and trauma..the party turned out to be a wonderful event! Good food, good company... and hilarious karaoke. Many good ...and now funny memories will be our keepsake.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Truthtelling
"You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change
something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete."
-R. Buckminster Fuller
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Ideally, you wouldn't even be reading
this. You'd be white-water rafting along the Franklin River in Tasmania, or
riding on "the train at the end of the world" in Tierra del Fuego, or
observing Golden Bamboo lemurs in the rainforest of southeastern
Madagascar. Ideally, Sagittarius, you'd be far away from any newspaper
that carries my column. You'd be taking a vacation from the Internet and
unable to access my horoscopes there. In fact, you'd be out of touch with
all media, period. But since you are reading this, you must not be doing
the ideal thing. So please do the next best thing: Flee as far as possible
from your usual haunts, your habitual influences, and your customary
comforts.
Rob Brezney
I should be doing all of those things...
If you have not had the pleasure and delight of reading Rob Brezney's work.
Check him out
here:
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
His writings are fantastic, juicy and inspiring. I simply adore his gift.
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