The day began with a bit of trepidation on her part. She really did not want to go out with him and was trying to figure a diplomatic way to cut the ties that really had not been formed in the few weeks they've known each other. But he insisted and she gave in. After all, he is mostly a nice guy. Not really her type physically (big belly, man boobs, etc..), not really her cup of tea intellectually (always talking about his rich friends, his assets, blah, blah blah), but he was kind of funny. Nothing good can come from having low expectations and/or standards.
She drives to his place, hoping to be able to just have a good time and enjoy the day. He greets her amicably at the door, cracking a few jokes and preparing to take her out. “Baby, I am going to show you something you've never seen before. Let's go!” This was intriguing, so she hopped in the car and they drove off into the hills. “Isn't it beautiful up here?” he asked her. “Yes, indeed it is”, thinking to herself that they were just riding up the local neighborhood, big houses, grand cars… but nothing extraordinary. Whatever. They pull into the Resort and stroll to the bar. “Well, what do you think? Pretty amazing huh”. Her mind is stunned. Does he actually think this is the first time she has been to a Resort? That she should be impressed? At this moment, she knows this guy is nothing but hot air and pomposity beyond the pale. Could he be serious? He was indeed. She sat down and ordered a glass of champagne trying to relax into the moment and release her judgment.
Luckily, there were a few other people at the bar who engaged in conversation that made the whole affair entertaining and fun. The bartender talked about his regulars and introduced them when they arrived. All very old, very rich, and very White. But also, very friendly. The three guys to the left made jokes about getting kicked out of a place like this, just yesterday. And the entertainment went on. By the time they left, they were all smiles.
He, still very much wanting to impress her with his diverse tastes, told her that now that she has experienced the best place (right), he will show her his dive bar. “Okay”, she said glancing at her watch, quickly calculating her time of departure as boredom was ensuing fast. They now pull into the parking lot of a strip mall. She admires the ocean view as she exits the car and they stroll on into the dive where is greeted personally by the very interesting female bartender. Hmmm. They sit at the end of the bar and order a drink. The bartender comes over frequently, not to check on their satisfaction, but to tell them bad jokes. Interesting indeed. But she had no idea how interesting this would become.
A few short minutes later, another couple enters the bar and is also greeted personally by the bartender. They chat and talk about impending wedding plans as the bartender flashes her ring. Joy abounds until this couple begins a show that no one could expect. Obviously drunk on arrival, they unfortunately latched on to first couple at the end of the bar. She was wide eyed with disbelief at the scene.
It began innocently enough. A few questions about how long they have been dating and what their plans were for the holidays. After the boisterous pair had a drink, the floodgates were opened. The woman exposed her breasts several times to him, while her husband watched. She then grabbed his penis through his pants. He just laughed and did nothing to stop the assault, maybe because the attention was enjoyable on some level. The woman did not stop. She continued showing her boobs and shaking them in his face. She lifted his shirt and sucked his nipples, amazed that his boobs were so big! He let her feel him up, stick her tongue in his ear while enjoying his drink. She sat, amazed. Not only that this guy was allowing this woman to do these things, but also that the woman's husband seemed to have no problem with it. It went on for an hour. Going from him to her. With her, the drunk woman encouraged some boob exposure, but she declined the offer. You have nice ones, the drunk woman said..you should show them off...
Suddenly, the woman's husband says, “You know, we are being left out of this fun”, and kissed her. Shocked, she stepped back and politely went to the restroom to figure a way out of this crazy situation. Coming out of the bathroom, she sees the woman sucking his nipples again. She says she is hungry and is ready. He said “Hell No! I am about to kick this motherfuckers ass because my friend over here just told me that he kissed you!” The question mark on her face was frozen there. “What?” From there he proceeded to assault the husband of the woman who has had intimate contact with every part of his body. He chased the husband around the bar, cursing and threatening him. She tried to stop him, but he cursed her too, telling her that she was a slut and an embarrassment to him. How could she do that? He asked her in between the string of verbal assaults on her and the husband.
Finally, they leave. She gets in the car with him, as she has no choice if she wants to get back to her own car to get home. Her home seemed so far away at that moment. In the car, he was indignant. Reiterating that she was such a stupid bitch. Hadn't he spoiled her all day? Taken care of her and treated her well? “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he yelled. She did not answer. She had experienced this kind of behavior before and knew it was best to keep quiet. Pulling into his driveway, she clicked the seat belt free and had her fingers on the door handle waiting to get out into the fresh air and back to reality. The tirade did not stop as she walked quickly to her car and jumped in. Before closing the door, she heard something about being a stupid slut, but by then her engine was running and her foot was on the accelerator.
The freeway never seemed so freeing as it did that night. So happy to be out of the grasp of that nightmare, she rolled down the windows and turned up the music in order to drown out the sound of her ringing cell phone. It was him. Once home, she sat and reviewed the events of the day in her mind and was confounded. How did she get into that one. Her cell phone kept beeping at her, making her aware that she had missed calls and unheard messages waiting. Reluctantly, she listened. “Hey stupid. Who the fuck do you think you are? You are nothing but a stupid slut. You Ignorant Bitch! Just so we are on the same page, don't call my phone, I am done. FUCK YOU!” The next message she did not bother listening to, it was more of the same.
The next few days he continued to call. Leaving messages that he would like to apologize. Telling her that next time she should remind him not to get drunk. That she should call him back, there is no need to stop seeing each other over this. She took his initial advice and did not call his phone or return his messages.
She missed most the friends that she made through him. She did not miss his fat belly, or man boobs, or his constant need to try to impress. She did not miss his anger, his temper or his violent tendencies. She just hoped he would stay gone and she would not run into him in any bar, dive or otherwise.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Tides of Change
This past week has been one of triumph and mourning.
Triumph for Americans and all those we affect. The fall of the far right Republican machine of dis-information, fear factor control tactics, and general crimes against humanity at all levels have been toppled…. But not utterly downstroyed. So still, everywhere there is War.
Let’s only hope that some good will come out of this new regime. That they too will not fall victim to seduction of tyrannical control. Effectively excommunicating those who disagree rather than engaging in a productive dialog for good of the people. Let’s hope that they will not continue to restrict human rights based on a false moral base (Ted Haggard). Let’s only hope for less war on our people, our environment, and our individualism.
Mourning – The passing of Ed Bradley, 25 years of journalistic service and excellence.
Died from Leukemia.
Not Mourning- The death of Pieter Willem Botha. A staunch advocate and supporter of Apartheid and racial segregation. I am not sad that he has left this life. Hopefully he has learned and in the next incarnation he will serve humanity rather than work to destroy it. but who am I to judge...this is only my humble opinion.
Forward Ever… Backward Never
Triumph for Americans and all those we affect. The fall of the far right Republican machine of dis-information, fear factor control tactics, and general crimes against humanity at all levels have been toppled…. But not utterly downstroyed. So still, everywhere there is War.
Let’s only hope that some good will come out of this new regime. That they too will not fall victim to seduction of tyrannical control. Effectively excommunicating those who disagree rather than engaging in a productive dialog for good of the people. Let’s hope that they will not continue to restrict human rights based on a false moral base (Ted Haggard). Let’s only hope for less war on our people, our environment, and our individualism.
Mourning – The passing of Ed Bradley, 25 years of journalistic service and excellence.
Died from Leukemia.
Not Mourning- The death of Pieter Willem Botha. A staunch advocate and supporter of Apartheid and racial segregation. I am not sad that he has left this life. Hopefully he has learned and in the next incarnation he will serve humanity rather than work to destroy it. but who am I to judge...this is only my humble opinion.
Forward Ever… Backward Never
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Lawrence Welk
Golfing yesterday at the Welk resorts in Escondido...
Beautiful, clear, warm day...
4 holes at Par...
Fabulous......
And one Birdie...
Friday, October 20, 2006
Green Eggs and Ham
After a long work conference in the city, I am glad to pack my bags and head for home.
Even though I know I am walking into an abyss of turmoil, crisis and catch up.
I decided to stop by to see one of my best friends, from way back in the day. No. I am not that old! However we do go back many moons and I don’t see her nearly as often as I should. As a matter of fact, I don’t see a few friends in Los Angeles as often as I should. This is a note to Self.
Just so happens that it is the day after Martha had surgery, and she is craving a bit of company. I buy her a latte and head over. Once we settle into her big comfy couch with coffees in hand, it is time to catch up! We start from the last time we saw each other and work our way forward.. that is our usual pattern. This time was a little different. This time we managed to cover all of the important information that has happened to each of us since last we spoke, but we also traded old buried childhood memories that we’d both prefer soon to forget. We decided we should write a book about it.
20 years of friendship and there were still things we really did not know… still things to reveal. And revelations seems to be a recent theme in my life lately. Martha asked if was seeing anyone yet... had I gotten out there and had a date. I gave her the latest ending with my statement about Karma, and that I must have some real serious Karma to work out in this life when it comes to relationships. What else would explain it? Martha told me that I should really consider freezing my eggs. Not the ones that are in my refrigerator, the ones in my womb.
With increasing numbers of career women finding themselves single and over 30, this process has become the new range. A way to preserve your fertility, your best eggs, for possible regeneration into an offspring should you find the right man, partner, or not. I must admit, that the thought is intriguing. It would take that desperation factor many women begin to display at a certain age out of the equation. Though I don’t think I am desperate enough for this one. The process is expensive (around 10K) and the probability that it will result in a live birth are shaky. However the success rates are getting better as is our technology. Hmmmm…. Not yet. I don’t think. Not yet. I will continue to leave it up to fate or destiny.. be happy being the Best Auntie, which I am... and move forward into the rest of my life...
I do not like them Sam I Am, I do not Like Green Eggs and Ham
More on the subject
http://nymag.com/nymetro/health/features/14719/index.html
Even though I know I am walking into an abyss of turmoil, crisis and catch up.
I decided to stop by to see one of my best friends, from way back in the day. No. I am not that old! However we do go back many moons and I don’t see her nearly as often as I should. As a matter of fact, I don’t see a few friends in Los Angeles as often as I should. This is a note to Self.
Just so happens that it is the day after Martha had surgery, and she is craving a bit of company. I buy her a latte and head over. Once we settle into her big comfy couch with coffees in hand, it is time to catch up! We start from the last time we saw each other and work our way forward.. that is our usual pattern. This time was a little different. This time we managed to cover all of the important information that has happened to each of us since last we spoke, but we also traded old buried childhood memories that we’d both prefer soon to forget. We decided we should write a book about it.
20 years of friendship and there were still things we really did not know… still things to reveal. And revelations seems to be a recent theme in my life lately. Martha asked if was seeing anyone yet... had I gotten out there and had a date. I gave her the latest ending with my statement about Karma, and that I must have some real serious Karma to work out in this life when it comes to relationships. What else would explain it? Martha told me that I should really consider freezing my eggs. Not the ones that are in my refrigerator, the ones in my womb.
With increasing numbers of career women finding themselves single and over 30, this process has become the new range. A way to preserve your fertility, your best eggs, for possible regeneration into an offspring should you find the right man, partner, or not. I must admit, that the thought is intriguing. It would take that desperation factor many women begin to display at a certain age out of the equation. Though I don’t think I am desperate enough for this one. The process is expensive (around 10K) and the probability that it will result in a live birth are shaky. However the success rates are getting better as is our technology. Hmmmm…. Not yet. I don’t think. Not yet. I will continue to leave it up to fate or destiny.. be happy being the Best Auntie, which I am... and move forward into the rest of my life...
I do not like them Sam I Am, I do not Like Green Eggs and Ham
More on the subject
http://nymag.com/nymetro/health/features/14719/index.html
Monday, October 09, 2006
A Prayer for Darfur
400,000 people have been killed since 2003. 
That number increases significantly with each passing moment, each passing day.....
We pray for the people of Darfur who have been terrorized and forced from their homes- those who have fled refugee camps, and who still live in fear
We pray for those who have died, and for their families;
We pray for the women in Darfur who face danger every day as they leave their camps for firewood- may You watch over Your daughters;
We pray for the children of Darfur, especially those who face a frightening world without one or both of their parens- may they be protected and comforted;
We pray for the safety of the humanitarian aid workers as they feed and care for the people of Darfur;
We pray for the safety of the African Union's mission in Darfur as they work in difficult circumstances;
We pray that the world's leaders will be guide by You in their quest for justice and safety for Darfur's people- may they be inspired by Your humanity;
Remind us that we are all your children, and teach us to listen;
We pray that those who are causing death and misery in Darfur will turn away from racism and violence- may they be forgiven when they turn to You for guidance instead;
Teach us to rejoice in all the things we have in common and respect each other's differences;
We pray that people everywhere will strive to live in peace, tolerance and respect no matter what their faith or race- may we gain the wisdom, grace and generosity of spirit to overcome our differences and live as one.
-Bishop Desmond Tutu
Visit: <http://www.savedarfur.org/>
That number increases significantly with each passing moment, each passing day.....
We pray for the people of Darfur who have been terrorized and forced from their homes- those who have fled refugee camps, and who still live in fear
We pray for those who have died, and for their families;
We pray for the women in Darfur who face danger every day as they leave their camps for firewood- may You watch over Your daughters;
We pray for the children of Darfur, especially those who face a frightening world without one or both of their parens- may they be protected and comforted;
We pray for the safety of the humanitarian aid workers as they feed and care for the people of Darfur;
We pray for the safety of the African Union's mission in Darfur as they work in difficult circumstances;
We pray that the world's leaders will be guide by You in their quest for justice and safety for Darfur's people- may they be inspired by Your humanity;
Remind us that we are all your children, and teach us to listen;
We pray that those who are causing death and misery in Darfur will turn away from racism and violence- may they be forgiven when they turn to You for guidance instead;
Teach us to rejoice in all the things we have in common and respect each other's differences;
We pray that people everywhere will strive to live in peace, tolerance and respect no matter what their faith or race- may we gain the wisdom, grace and generosity of spirit to overcome our differences and live as one.
-Bishop Desmond Tutu
Visit: <http://www.savedarfur.org/>
Sunday, September 17, 2006
It's Alive!
My ability to feel good seeing myself in the eyes of someone who sees something in me and have that reflected back through my own gaze.
Today was an unusal 24 hours in that I experienced a range of emotions I had no intention on engaging.
This morning I went shopping with a friend of mine at an outlet near Mexico. Wonderful shopping to be had while walking in the warm embrace of the San Diego type of perfect-day-sunshine. A cloud of negativity and sadness blurred my vision when I found that my cell phone... My NEW cell phone.. My new Verizon Chocolate cell phone.. was stolen. What?! I know.. gone. I had not even figured out all of the wonderful things I could do with it before it took its leave. I almost cried. Then I thought of my Sister who just had her car broken into and she lost much more than that. Today she is smiling and moving on. It is just a phone. Whatever.
I came home to get ready to attend the wedding celebration of a good friend of mine and forget about my little woes for a few hours. I did not get particularly dolled up, just respectful and presentable. The wedding celebration for Carolyn was wonderful. In attendance were many of her friends, that blossomed with a diversity rarely seen in San Diego. Every ethnic background, religion, politcal affiliation and sexual orientation was represented! Beautiful. During the ceremony, Carolyn introduced her family who hail from Brazil and now around the globe. If I ever thought Carolyn was gorgeous (and I always do), I now know that it is genetic. Like some people inherit alcoholism and bad teeth, this is a family of beautiful people, both inside and out. She comes by it honestly.
The celebration was filled with love and humor. Good food and conversation. New connections and reconnections. Carolyn introduced her family to everyone in the audience. One by one, those of us hearing the introductions were intrigued by the multifacetedness of this eclectic group. Poets, Scientists, Artists, Writers, Film makers, Environmentalists, Missionaries... I felt I should go home and figure out what I could contribute to the world that could measure up. But in a good way.
That is when I saw full view, her brother Greg. Oh, yes. You are right and I admit it. I noticed him the moment I walked in. Tall, bronze, and so handsome that, like the sun, I could not look directly at him. Carolyn told me I should be sure to introduce myself. Yea. Right. This guy would never be interested in me. So I ignored him. Effectively. Until later in the evening, when Carolyn would not let me leave, I found myself outside chatting away by the dessert table. Greg was there too, chatting with other people. Before long he came over to my little crowd of confidantes and began to speak to one of the guys. It was difficult not to look at him then. Where are my shades when I need them?
Julia came by to grab a piece of cake and chat with us.. and it was then I got the nerve to introduce myself, clumsily sticking my hand out for him to shake as I told him my name. He was very polite and gracious and we talked for few minutes, then parted ways. A cloud of affection crossed my path as I watched him walk away. In the kitchen, helping with the food packing.. I leaned in and whispered to Julia that I was in love. Okay, maybe it is not love, but Wow, it was something! I told her that I knew he would not be interested in me but it sure was nice speaking with him. Julia laughed...telling me how oblivious I am to men who find me attractive, which he apparently did. Now this was too much for my little brain to absorb. Soon after he came over and asked for my number and email address (I proceeded to shake down everyone in the hall for pen and paper..discreetly) so I could give it to him. When I did, he asked me to slip it in his pocket because his hands were wet from washing dishes. I complied, and only hope that I wasn't smiling as big as I think I might have been. (A girl has to maintain some cool). He invited me back to their beach house rental along with a few other people to close the evening.
I could think of no better way to end this evening celebrating love than to have spent it with this group of people. We sat around talking and telling stories, recounting the day for the Bride. We drank coffee and soda..listened to original poetry and reveled in the energy. I sat with Greg and we chatted off and on..he walked me to my car and said that he would be in contact..gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug as we said goodbye.
I may never hear from Greg again.. but it was a lovely evening and his attention was a gift.
Today was an unusal 24 hours in that I experienced a range of emotions I had no intention on engaging.
This morning I went shopping with a friend of mine at an outlet near Mexico. Wonderful shopping to be had while walking in the warm embrace of the San Diego type of perfect-day-sunshine. A cloud of negativity and sadness blurred my vision when I found that my cell phone... My NEW cell phone.. My new Verizon Chocolate cell phone.. was stolen. What?! I know.. gone. I had not even figured out all of the wonderful things I could do with it before it took its leave. I almost cried. Then I thought of my Sister who just had her car broken into and she lost much more than that. Today she is smiling and moving on. It is just a phone. Whatever.
I came home to get ready to attend the wedding celebration of a good friend of mine and forget about my little woes for a few hours. I did not get particularly dolled up, just respectful and presentable. The wedding celebration for Carolyn was wonderful. In attendance were many of her friends, that blossomed with a diversity rarely seen in San Diego. Every ethnic background, religion, politcal affiliation and sexual orientation was represented! Beautiful. During the ceremony, Carolyn introduced her family who hail from Brazil and now around the globe. If I ever thought Carolyn was gorgeous (and I always do), I now know that it is genetic. Like some people inherit alcoholism and bad teeth, this is a family of beautiful people, both inside and out. She comes by it honestly.
The celebration was filled with love and humor. Good food and conversation. New connections and reconnections. Carolyn introduced her family to everyone in the audience. One by one, those of us hearing the introductions were intrigued by the multifacetedness of this eclectic group. Poets, Scientists, Artists, Writers, Film makers, Environmentalists, Missionaries... I felt I should go home and figure out what I could contribute to the world that could measure up. But in a good way.
That is when I saw full view, her brother Greg. Oh, yes. You are right and I admit it. I noticed him the moment I walked in. Tall, bronze, and so handsome that, like the sun, I could not look directly at him. Carolyn told me I should be sure to introduce myself. Yea. Right. This guy would never be interested in me. So I ignored him. Effectively. Until later in the evening, when Carolyn would not let me leave, I found myself outside chatting away by the dessert table. Greg was there too, chatting with other people. Before long he came over to my little crowd of confidantes and began to speak to one of the guys. It was difficult not to look at him then. Where are my shades when I need them?
Julia came by to grab a piece of cake and chat with us.. and it was then I got the nerve to introduce myself, clumsily sticking my hand out for him to shake as I told him my name. He was very polite and gracious and we talked for few minutes, then parted ways. A cloud of affection crossed my path as I watched him walk away. In the kitchen, helping with the food packing.. I leaned in and whispered to Julia that I was in love. Okay, maybe it is not love, but Wow, it was something! I told her that I knew he would not be interested in me but it sure was nice speaking with him. Julia laughed...telling me how oblivious I am to men who find me attractive, which he apparently did. Now this was too much for my little brain to absorb. Soon after he came over and asked for my number and email address (I proceeded to shake down everyone in the hall for pen and paper..discreetly) so I could give it to him. When I did, he asked me to slip it in his pocket because his hands were wet from washing dishes. I complied, and only hope that I wasn't smiling as big as I think I might have been. (A girl has to maintain some cool). He invited me back to their beach house rental along with a few other people to close the evening.
I could think of no better way to end this evening celebrating love than to have spent it with this group of people. We sat around talking and telling stories, recounting the day for the Bride. We drank coffee and soda..listened to original poetry and reveled in the energy. I sat with Greg and we chatted off and on..he walked me to my car and said that he would be in contact..gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug as we said goodbye.
I may never hear from Greg again.. but it was a lovely evening and his attention was a gift.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Life Lessons
After an uneventful day filled with frustrations, challenges and some victories, I leave the office anxious to work off a little stress and make some improvements on the golf range. I did both in the light of the setting sun at the Naval Base golf course. "Keep that right shoulder down".. my new mantra.
My friend and I packed up our clubs and stopped to pick up some more golf gear at the market on base. As we stood chatting in the parking lot about the high level of security, making light of what is truly terrifying, if only for a moments peace. A car passes us, beat up and raggedy. The young white men within shouted "Fucking Black Dykes!" We both stopped and looked at each other with expressions that sought to verify what we thought we heard. We then burst out into laughter.. wondering if that was an insult or were they simply expressing a personal fantasy. Great representation of our fighting heroes.
But that is not what this is about...
This is about the message I retrieved from my mobile as I drove off the base and back into the city. It was my best friend Angela. Since college, we have been buds. All she said was "call me when you have a moment". So I rang her. Then my heart sank. She told me that her father died today, and that she was at home trying to wrap her brain around this new reality. I was temporarily stunned into silence. What could I say that would help her at this terrible point in her life? I pulled over. I told her that I loved her and I am here to support her in whatever way she needs me. If she needed company tonight, I will be on the freeway to LA. If she wanted to talk, to cry, to say nothing, I'd be there to listen, comfort and hold the phone. She said she always thought that she would not be able to handle it when this day came. But now that it is here, and she knows her father is no longer in pain, she is okay. The waves of emotion come go but she knows her father is no longer suffering.
This type of enlightenment must only come when you need it for yourself. I still cannot imagine living through the day ..days where my parents pass away. I don't feel capable.. I don't want to be. But, like my friend, when it comes maybe I too will be blessed with the courage and grace that she has shown me tonight.
So that is what this is all about. Life. Friendship. Birth. Death. The things and people that are important to us all. That make our own lives rich with memories. Filled with character.
May our newest Angel rest in Peace....
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Donde esta Fidel?
47 years is a long time to be stuck with anyone... In a marriage, in a job, but especially in the leadership position of governing a communist country (or any country for that matter). Illness has overtaken Dear Fidel to the point where even he must admit that he needs help. What else to do but hand power over to his little brother, the runt, the Destroyer as he has called himself. The drunk, as others have called him. From bad to worse, and that is not easy to do in Cuba.
Our own beloved Bush is preparing avenues to reconnect families that have been unncessarily torn apart for decades. There is some good.. The streets of Florida are filled with celebrations of what is believed to be the beginning of the end of isolation and tyranny.
But there has been some good. Castro started out fighting for the poor in his country. Trained as a lawyer, his grass roots efforts overthrew Batista in 1959.(good) He was prepared to bomb the United States with missiles from Russia. (not so good).
But Fidel is nothing if not a survivor. What is created after he is gone is anyone's guess. After 47 years, I would imagine the opportunity to open borders, participate in free trade, and reunite Cuba with her brothers and sisters around the globe cannot be lost.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Wicked
What an unexpected weekend.
Filled with family, friends and theatre.. Absolutely fabulous.
The Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles is an amazing venue. Outdoor theatre and music..under the stars and warm summer evenings that make LA sparkle. Make the city and the experience heightened with the addition of incredible music and stellar performances.
The Sound of Music was on the menu this weekend at the Bowl.
An annoying group of elderly white conservatives, who wished to enjoy the show in its pure form with silence in the audience, and the only voices to heard, that of this incredible cast. They obviously chose the wrong show to try to force silence in their surroundings. After many, many "shhhhh's" blown out in a mean spirited manner, they were overtaken by those of us who were simply overtaken by the sound of familiar music. All around, the crowd sang in unison with the company "Doe, a deer, a female deer; Ray, a drop of golden Sun. Me, a name I call myself. Fah, a long, long way to run. So, a needle pulling thread. La, a note that follows Sooo. Tea, a drink with jam and bread. And that brings us back to... "Shhhhh!" Doe, oh, oh, oh... None could restrain themselves and it was marvelous..
Until midnight, in the humid evening, I sang with a group of friends that filled the Bowl with the sound of music.
Tonight, I found a new personal mantra, as I sat, starry eyed in the Civic Theater, watching the back-story of the Wizard of Oz. Wicked, is fantastic. Surprising. I was Awe struck in the detail of what may have been missing in the familiar tale we thought we knew, and most certainly love. Your understanding, as did mine, of this favorite is shredded to bits and rebuilt, bigger and better than before.
I, too, will Defy Gravity! Join me...Be Wicked!
Filled with family, friends and theatre.. Absolutely fabulous.
The Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles is an amazing venue. Outdoor theatre and music..under the stars and warm summer evenings that make LA sparkle. Make the city and the experience heightened with the addition of incredible music and stellar performances.
The Sound of Music was on the menu this weekend at the Bowl.
An annoying group of elderly white conservatives, who wished to enjoy the show in its pure form with silence in the audience, and the only voices to heard, that of this incredible cast. They obviously chose the wrong show to try to force silence in their surroundings. After many, many "shhhhh's" blown out in a mean spirited manner, they were overtaken by those of us who were simply overtaken by the sound of familiar music. All around, the crowd sang in unison with the company "Doe, a deer, a female deer; Ray, a drop of golden Sun. Me, a name I call myself. Fah, a long, long way to run. So, a needle pulling thread. La, a note that follows Sooo. Tea, a drink with jam and bread. And that brings us back to... "Shhhhh!" Doe, oh, oh, oh... None could restrain themselves and it was marvelous..
Until midnight, in the humid evening, I sang with a group of friends that filled the Bowl with the sound of music.
Tonight, I found a new personal mantra, as I sat, starry eyed in the Civic Theater, watching the back-story of the Wizard of Oz. Wicked, is fantastic. Surprising. I was Awe struck in the detail of what may have been missing in the familiar tale we thought we knew, and most certainly love. Your understanding, as did mine, of this favorite is shredded to bits and rebuilt, bigger and better than before.
I, too, will Defy Gravity! Join me...Be Wicked!
Monday, July 17, 2006
Sigh...
Is what I say when I think of the fabulous weekend I had.. and of the week to come....
It has been so hot and humid lately, that I am making an effort just to keep my energy up.
No air-conditioning at work... None at home... So I spend as much time as I can in front of the one fan I have for my apartment..and the one, dusty, old fan I have at work. Living on the second level of my apartment complex only exacerbates the heat.
Saturday.. I ran a few errands. After which, I did my best not to move. I read, I slept, I drank water... Miserable.
Sunday, I was anticipating more of the same.
Fortunately for me it did not turn out that way.
Instead I went for a lovely bike ride around the ocean and the bay early this morning. Before the heat set in. Watching the waves, and the waves of people, filled me with inspiration to do more.
So I went to a Padre game today too. One the best I have seen in a while. The Padres played the Braves..and the Braves kicked our ass. Oh well. It was still a blast! I
When I came home from that, I thought I was done and could start preparing the workweek.
However, a friend called and we ended up at the movies. Fine with me because it got me back out of my still too hot living room.
Now I am back.. it is late.. and I want to do some work, but I really want and need to sleep. The heat is not cooperating with either of these goals of mine, so I toss and turn and turn the fan up higher..move it closer... Wait a bit impatiently for sleep... happy for the weekend as it was…
Sigh...
It has been so hot and humid lately, that I am making an effort just to keep my energy up.
No air-conditioning at work... None at home... So I spend as much time as I can in front of the one fan I have for my apartment..and the one, dusty, old fan I have at work. Living on the second level of my apartment complex only exacerbates the heat.
Saturday.. I ran a few errands. After which, I did my best not to move. I read, I slept, I drank water... Miserable.
Sunday, I was anticipating more of the same.
Fortunately for me it did not turn out that way.
Instead I went for a lovely bike ride around the ocean and the bay early this morning. Before the heat set in. Watching the waves, and the waves of people, filled me with inspiration to do more.
So I went to a Padre game today too. One the best I have seen in a while. The Padres played the Braves..and the Braves kicked our ass. Oh well. It was still a blast! I
When I came home from that, I thought I was done and could start preparing the workweek.
However, a friend called and we ended up at the movies. Fine with me because it got me back out of my still too hot living room.
Now I am back.. it is late.. and I want to do some work, but I really want and need to sleep. The heat is not cooperating with either of these goals of mine, so I toss and turn and turn the fan up higher..move it closer... Wait a bit impatiently for sleep... happy for the weekend as it was…
Sigh...
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Debbie Downer
My mobile phone is ringing. Again. I look at the number and see that it is Debbie. I click the side button to stop the noise and send the call to voice mail. I grab my keys and run out the door heading for some cool relief from what seems to be record heat and humidity in San Diego. The air conditioning in my car feels extra wonderful as I turn up the music and drive to the cinema to extend my escape into the cool air, while watching the Devil Wears Prada. No, this is not a movie review.
After a blissful two hours engulfed in air conditioning so strong it gave me a chill, I’m back out in the heat. On the way home, my mobile rings again…. It’s Debbie. Guilt makes me take the call and I am immediately sorry that I did.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my friend Debbie. I think in some ways she has it all… Single, great home that she is upgrading, cool job. But like many of us single girls in the city, we are still looking for that special someone. Debbie has had a special someone for almost 20 years. A very handsome white man with whom she’s had an ongoing relationship over these years. Problem is, for most of these years this man has been married. And during these years, he and his wife had 3 kids.
Suddenly… It always seems to be sudden, but it never is… He and his wife got a divorce. Debbie was not surprised really, and admitted to me that she was a little excited at the possibility that was now open. Maybe now they could be together openly. Maybe they could actually begin to build their lives together. She loves him. He loves her too in his own way. Unfortunately, his way of loving her now is no different from his way of loving her while he was married.
So now my conversations with her have become counseling sessions on the topic of “Why does he do me this way”, and this call is no different.
“Hello”, I say to her. “What’s going on?” I say trying to be extra happy. It did not work. Her voice was drawling as she told me that she was not doing anything. She was just going to watch movies and sleep because the heat was a little much. “Sounds like a plan”, I tell her. “Call me if you want to go out somewhere later when it cools off”. She says she will, and I think we’re done for now. Then she says she has a question. “What is it”?
Debbie then tells me that she is upset because her now divorced lover has told her that she has an open invitation to come over and use his pool. Today she called him and said she wanted to come over, get in the pool, and get into him. He told her that was not a good idea today, because his ex-wife is coming to pick up the boys, and it would be a scene if she were there as well.
Insulted and hurt, she asks me what I think about that. I told her I really did not know. I know that her feelings are hurt and that she wants something different from a man who is not going to give her what she needs which is a loving committed relationship. That he will make her feel special, desirable… She gets upset when he calls in the middle of night to request her company…but she always goes to him. She gets upset when he disses her privately to speak to his ex-wife, see her or be with people. We’ve spoken for hours about why he never says that he loves her, why he never does those “little” things that mean so much. Things that she does all of the time…Cards for his birthday, special surprises to make him smile and maybe slip and declare his love. None of this comes in return.
So what do I say? She is a smart woman. A beautiful woman. A tormented woman.
A woman who will continue to be depressed today. Who will sleep and self medicate until she feels better, or until his ex-wife leaves and he calls to request her company.
Ring... He called. She's headed over and is all smiles again. She's going swimming...
After a blissful two hours engulfed in air conditioning so strong it gave me a chill, I’m back out in the heat. On the way home, my mobile rings again…. It’s Debbie. Guilt makes me take the call and I am immediately sorry that I did.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my friend Debbie. I think in some ways she has it all… Single, great home that she is upgrading, cool job. But like many of us single girls in the city, we are still looking for that special someone. Debbie has had a special someone for almost 20 years. A very handsome white man with whom she’s had an ongoing relationship over these years. Problem is, for most of these years this man has been married. And during these years, he and his wife had 3 kids.
Suddenly… It always seems to be sudden, but it never is… He and his wife got a divorce. Debbie was not surprised really, and admitted to me that she was a little excited at the possibility that was now open. Maybe now they could be together openly. Maybe they could actually begin to build their lives together. She loves him. He loves her too in his own way. Unfortunately, his way of loving her now is no different from his way of loving her while he was married.
So now my conversations with her have become counseling sessions on the topic of “Why does he do me this way”, and this call is no different.
“Hello”, I say to her. “What’s going on?” I say trying to be extra happy. It did not work. Her voice was drawling as she told me that she was not doing anything. She was just going to watch movies and sleep because the heat was a little much. “Sounds like a plan”, I tell her. “Call me if you want to go out somewhere later when it cools off”. She says she will, and I think we’re done for now. Then she says she has a question. “What is it”?
Debbie then tells me that she is upset because her now divorced lover has told her that she has an open invitation to come over and use his pool. Today she called him and said she wanted to come over, get in the pool, and get into him. He told her that was not a good idea today, because his ex-wife is coming to pick up the boys, and it would be a scene if she were there as well.
Insulted and hurt, she asks me what I think about that. I told her I really did not know. I know that her feelings are hurt and that she wants something different from a man who is not going to give her what she needs which is a loving committed relationship. That he will make her feel special, desirable… She gets upset when he calls in the middle of night to request her company…but she always goes to him. She gets upset when he disses her privately to speak to his ex-wife, see her or be with people. We’ve spoken for hours about why he never says that he loves her, why he never does those “little” things that mean so much. Things that she does all of the time…Cards for his birthday, special surprises to make him smile and maybe slip and declare his love. None of this comes in return.
So what do I say? She is a smart woman. A beautiful woman. A tormented woman.
A woman who will continue to be depressed today. Who will sleep and self medicate until she feels better, or until his ex-wife leaves and he calls to request her company.
Ring... He called. She's headed over and is all smiles again. She's going swimming...
Monday, July 10, 2006
Snoop Dogg
The other day I was walking along a trail in the city. It was funny because as I walked along, through the trees, blithely kicking sticks out of my path, I realized that I had forgotten to change clothes. I was still in the costume I wore to the party earlier. With my white pants and pink top and butterfly wings firmly attached to my back. After a fleeting moment of panic, and figuring I was at that point in the journey where it was just as far to go back as to move forward, I continued to stroll along. Smiling to myself at the thought of what might be going through other people's heads as they ran across me. Oh well....
It was just about that time when I knew I was not alone on this particular trail.
As I turned down the path and turned my head in the direction of steps, the face I saw coming my way was familiar. A stranger to me, but someone I knew. Mr. Dogg himself. He had no posse, it was just him and me. He was much nicer and more approachable than I would have thought. I did my LA thing of simply ignoring famous people when and if you ran into them. (It assures them the opportunity to pretend they are normal, and you, the un-celebrity, to pretend you couldn't care less).
But he spoke to me and actually walked with me. While we walked out, I felt as if my wings could actually work. I felt them flutter at my back. Snoop noticed and said that was nice get-up I had on. Could be a little fantasy butterfly. As the blush left my cheeks, we winded the path that led toward the beach and headed down. All of a sudden there was this huge noise in the water. We saw what looked like a big wave, then the tail of a whale flung out of the water and back down again. We were both speechless.
We stood there watching for the whale again when instead we saw the slow rising of a submarine in synch with the arrival of a military helicopter. "Run!" I shouted. Snoop grabbed me by the collar as tried to make my way back up the hill, wings fluttering. I told him to hurry. That I thought I could fly us both away from there.
Snoop Dogg insisted that we just go up the way we came down. No need to use my little wings. We'd be fine. He grabbed my hand and we strolled up the hill and back to our original path, helicopter blazing in the background noise.
Then I woke up.
It was just about that time when I knew I was not alone on this particular trail.
As I turned down the path and turned my head in the direction of steps, the face I saw coming my way was familiar. A stranger to me, but someone I knew. Mr. Dogg himself. He had no posse, it was just him and me. He was much nicer and more approachable than I would have thought. I did my LA thing of simply ignoring famous people when and if you ran into them. (It assures them the opportunity to pretend they are normal, and you, the un-celebrity, to pretend you couldn't care less).
But he spoke to me and actually walked with me. While we walked out, I felt as if my wings could actually work. I felt them flutter at my back. Snoop noticed and said that was nice get-up I had on. Could be a little fantasy butterfly. As the blush left my cheeks, we winded the path that led toward the beach and headed down. All of a sudden there was this huge noise in the water. We saw what looked like a big wave, then the tail of a whale flung out of the water and back down again. We were both speechless.
We stood there watching for the whale again when instead we saw the slow rising of a submarine in synch with the arrival of a military helicopter. "Run!" I shouted. Snoop grabbed me by the collar as tried to make my way back up the hill, wings fluttering. I told him to hurry. That I thought I could fly us both away from there.
Snoop Dogg insisted that we just go up the way we came down. No need to use my little wings. We'd be fine. He grabbed my hand and we strolled up the hill and back to our original path, helicopter blazing in the background noise.
Then I woke up.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Synchronicity
I am one of those who tend to believe in the synchronicity of the Universe. That there is an over-reaching interconnectivity in our lives. Often messages we need to hear come to us from unexpected sources at unexpected times.
During one of my lonely, pseudo depressed stages (Probably more dramatic than I need to be here) after having listened to the on-going complaints of several staff members, writing warning letters for another employee, trying to figure how to coach yet another into a more professional and organized state of being for her own sake… I took a walk.
I ended up at the campus bookstore and decided to spend a few minutes flipping through some of the popular glossies. As I stepped inside, I ran into a friend and colleague of mine, I'll call Olga. I like Olga for many reasons. The main reason, however, is that she is a citizen of the universe. Olga is a mature white woman of distinct European descent, with a fabulous accent. She has worked on campus for many years and has carved out her own niche. The University has a number of staff associations geared toward specific groups. For example, there is the Black Staff Association, The Pan Asian Association, the LGBTA group, Chicano/Latino Staff Association, even the European Association. Okay, that last one does make me giggle a bit. Whenever I hear it, I think of the old bit in which the child asks the Mother, why isn't there a “children's day” like there is a “mother's day”. And the Mother answers, “Everyday is children's day”. It seems the whole of society is the European Association. But I digress….
Back to Olga and synchronicity.
What I love about Olga is that she is on the board and actively participates in almost all of these associations. She chairs events with Black Staff group, is out cooking with the Pan Asian organization, marches with the Chicano/Latino group, etc. She refuses to be placed in a box. Fabulous!
When I see her in the bookstore, I ask how her what is new and how she is. She said she was great and told me about the weekend cross-cultural celebration she attended. She asked how I was doing and what was new with me. I heard myself give her my far-too-regular answer of “oh not much, just working..nothing exciting.”
Olga picked up my hand in hers and said “Oh no. There must be more. Not just working and nothing new. You know, last week, I ran into a co-worker I had not seen in a while. During our chat in the elevator, I asked her how she was. She said just busy, working, working away. I made a date to get together with her for some tea the following week. Well, it turns out she that she died of a sudden heart attack 3 days later. 39 years old, no children and caretaking a parent. Life is too short”, Olga said. “Tonight, when you go home after work, do something. Go out with some friends, see a movie, do something new.”
As she was speaking, I knew that I was supposed to hear this story. It touched something in me. The timing was impeccable. Why am I moping around when I have so much to be grateful and thankful for? Why am I still thinking of a relationship 6 months after it's own abrupt death? Life is short and you don't get any of these days back if you don't use them well.
I am trying hard to use them all well.
During one of my lonely, pseudo depressed stages (Probably more dramatic than I need to be here) after having listened to the on-going complaints of several staff members, writing warning letters for another employee, trying to figure how to coach yet another into a more professional and organized state of being for her own sake… I took a walk.
I ended up at the campus bookstore and decided to spend a few minutes flipping through some of the popular glossies. As I stepped inside, I ran into a friend and colleague of mine, I'll call Olga. I like Olga for many reasons. The main reason, however, is that she is a citizen of the universe. Olga is a mature white woman of distinct European descent, with a fabulous accent. She has worked on campus for many years and has carved out her own niche. The University has a number of staff associations geared toward specific groups. For example, there is the Black Staff Association, The Pan Asian Association, the LGBTA group, Chicano/Latino Staff Association, even the European Association. Okay, that last one does make me giggle a bit. Whenever I hear it, I think of the old bit in which the child asks the Mother, why isn't there a “children's day” like there is a “mother's day”. And the Mother answers, “Everyday is children's day”. It seems the whole of society is the European Association. But I digress….
Back to Olga and synchronicity.
What I love about Olga is that she is on the board and actively participates in almost all of these associations. She chairs events with Black Staff group, is out cooking with the Pan Asian organization, marches with the Chicano/Latino group, etc. She refuses to be placed in a box. Fabulous!
When I see her in the bookstore, I ask how her what is new and how she is. She said she was great and told me about the weekend cross-cultural celebration she attended. She asked how I was doing and what was new with me. I heard myself give her my far-too-regular answer of “oh not much, just working..nothing exciting.”
Olga picked up my hand in hers and said “Oh no. There must be more. Not just working and nothing new. You know, last week, I ran into a co-worker I had not seen in a while. During our chat in the elevator, I asked her how she was. She said just busy, working, working away. I made a date to get together with her for some tea the following week. Well, it turns out she that she died of a sudden heart attack 3 days later. 39 years old, no children and caretaking a parent. Life is too short”, Olga said. “Tonight, when you go home after work, do something. Go out with some friends, see a movie, do something new.”
As she was speaking, I knew that I was supposed to hear this story. It touched something in me. The timing was impeccable. Why am I moping around when I have so much to be grateful and thankful for? Why am I still thinking of a relationship 6 months after it's own abrupt death? Life is short and you don't get any of these days back if you don't use them well.
I am trying hard to use them all well.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
The Great Wall
Even beautiful barriers like this. Long and high enough to be seen from space.. Are not enough to separate humans from one another for too long.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Corretta Scott King
In October we said to goodbye to Ms. Rosa Parks.
Today, just a few short months later, we salute Corretta, the wife a King, and a leader in her own right. It is saddening to watch the leaders of such a major era in our history, Black history leave us. But they have not left us alone. We have their legacy, their strength to continue the fight for civil rights and justice.
Forward Ever. Backwards Never!
Today, just a few short months later, we salute Corretta, the wife a King, and a leader in her own right. It is saddening to watch the leaders of such a major era in our history, Black history leave us. But they have not left us alone. We have their legacy, their strength to continue the fight for civil rights and justice.
Forward Ever. Backwards Never!
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