Breakfast at Tiffany's

This year has, as young as it is, has already given me much to celebrate and much to mourn.
But each day is a reason to keep hope alive...right?
For me it has been almost like the Alanis Morrisette song "Ironic"...You finally decide to take that trip around the world despite your fear of flying and your plane crashes... For me, I finally relinquished to the love in my life and it crashes, bursts into flames and still smolders. Crushing my hopeless romanticism into dust. But like roaches, those romatic pinings always seem to return. Maybe, at my age, that is a good thing to re-evaluate reality. Maybe it is time to give up on the fairytale..they really don't come true. As hard as I try to be amenable...to make it easy... it does not work. What have learned with this failed attempt? I am not sure. Let it go, move on, who knows what is around the corner? Maybe, that love for me in this lifetime is not going to be a reality. At least in that Hollywood sense that I seem so attached to. And that is so sad because I love the idea of sharing my life and my love. I think that there really could be nothing better. (Oops. There I go again....Ms. Holly GoLightly) Hmmmm maybe I need a Cat.

This broken heart crap is really starting to wear on my nerves and my emotional stability. For the past week, I have been in such a funk that I am getting on my own nerves. Eating...sleeping..crying. It is all so cliche and boring. Beating myself up so much that I need to call the police on my own damn self (Patti LaBelle) I need to new ways to deal with heartache. I need to develop a system of self-care that is more exciting and unconventional when it comes to grieving a relationship. I know! I will work on some ideas and create a "business plan"...on how to pull yourself up and out of tragic heartbreak. Now this could be interesting....