Stepping out on Faith

These days and months have been flying by.
How can it already be time to file taxes? In all honesty, I think this is a date that sneaks up on almost everyone. Although there are those few admired and envied people who had their taxes completed, refund received and spent by January. It is apparent I am not one of them and will never be.

I guess when one's life is filled with stress, good and/or bad, it just seems to make the earth spin a bit faster, and all you can do is hold on and keep stepping.

I have recently accepted a new job, which on the face of it, is absolutely wonderful! It has been my goal to continue to improve my station in life in ways that are meaningful to me. One of the ways is to work hard, particularly as I get older, at maximizing my income as best I can. This new position was a step in that direction and I am truly happy and grateful. However, there was so much negative/positive emotion initially attached to this accomplishment, that I don't feel that I have been able to embrace the complete picture of my good fortune. The fact that I am still figuring out what I am doing and have not regained my confidence yet, has much to do with my general apprehension as well.

So here I step out on faith that I made the right decision and things will work out, as they should.

The boyfriend is back. Yes. The same one that sent me into a complete tailspin of depression and ...
Is now back trying hard to rectify his wrong. To be what he should have been from the beginning. When I look back on the loves in my life, as this incident has forced me to do, I wonder how I even survived some of the madness that is part of my history. And I know that most women look into their past with similar thoughts. It truly is amazing the strength we conjure when we need it. When we have no other choice. So here again, I must believe that everything happens for a reason. That my love for this man has some lesson for me. Some lesson for him...

Faith

So often we find ourselves doing the hard work of daily survival all alone. Working to make our lives, the lives of those we love better each day. Being tired and still moving forward. Still smiling and laughing.

Truly amazing.
My new mantra is: Jump. And the net will appear.