The M Word

Isn’t funny, this feeling inside….?
I am fascinated by the thoughts and ideas of those around me..Particularly on the topic of Love and Marriage. For many women I know they really don’t go together like a horse and carriage. .

Western society has its traditions and mores that most of us unconsciously conform to without much question. A marriage is between a man and a woman. This concept is now being challenged and we are bristling under what we think are moral issues, when in fact they are simply the pains of evolution. Moving to a higher level of understanding. We will move to a place where marriage is the union of two people in love. Between men, women, black, white, brown and yellow. Remember when “miscegenation” was illegal? Technically it probably still is on the books in some states as an act against the system. Thankfully our system is dynamic and growing as we grow.

But what about the union itself? I am having more frequent discussions with people about the whole idea of marriage. R. who married late in life at age 44 thinks the institution is archaic. Granted, she is still married to her “first husband”, a man she has known for most of her life. And she is happy. I think. But she does opine on what would be better alternatives. As we sit in our little bar that we congregate in after work on Fridays, I listen to her thoughts.

For her an ideal union is no union at all, at least not on paper. If she were Queen, people would have serial relationships that involve no paperwork, no legal commitment. One could have a partner, and if one happens to meet someone else interesting one could spend time with them as well. There is no requirement to live together or for the symbolic jewelry. You would have the freedom to design your own relationship(s) as if best for you.

Intriguing. However, I do know that I am not evolved enough to participate in this society. For very long.

Another Queen-Dom would have it so that you would find your mate, marry, produce offspring and really be able to keep that spark of love alive for a lifetime.

Now this is more in line with my own Hollywood brainwashed fantasies. And if you marry late enough in life, but not too late, you may be able to pull it off.

My ideas, however, are bit more tame. Probably somewhere in between the extremes of finding a guy you can do whatever you want with (or without) and the "Untrue" Hollywood story. Just marry the man I think I want to spend my life with. Create a life together that we enjoy. Be sure to have a space in my house that can serve as a personal sanctuary. My getaway. Laugh. Fight. Make up. Make Love. Travel.

I admit that I do not want to live alone forever. I have been on my own my entire adult life. The thought of change is frightening and exciting….but it can also be good. With one caveat:
Never love anyone more than you love yourself.
My mother’s advice… I follow it..

What is your ideal?