Friday-noon are becoming two of my most coveted words to put together. Mostly because it represents time I will have for myself. To myself. Unless, of course, a family member requests my presence to which I rarely say no. Not out of some obligation (okay, on occasion), but mostly because I usually am in dire need of that intense Love I can get only from them. It can wash away all of the negativity, stress, concern and worry that I have allowed to be heaped on my shoulders. One giant hug from my niece sets me on a better course.
On this Friday afternoon, I am working on company concerns that will need to be addressed early next week. Meetings that I am not particularly looking forward to, but I know they are interactions that will help me grow as a manager and advocate. I am finding this role as manager possesses a duality that I could not see clearly before. You are there to represent employees as well as employer while keeping everyone satisfied. A true impossibility and a balancing act that many have proven successful. My outcomes are still to be determined.
The weather is cooperating with my mood. I want to stay in… watch movies..relax on the couch and eat ice cream. It is so much easier to do that when the skies are gray and rain is moving in. But I can't be lazy! I still have to prepare for the coming week's mission in the midst of these two days. Weekends are never long enough! And bringing work home interferes with my Zen practice of living in the moment. Always thinking about and anticipating the future. And so it goes…
Here's to your weekend, and to mine! Whatever we get into, whatever comes our way, may we enjoy it in the moment even as we plan for all of the moments we hope to have in the future!
Friday, April 22, 2005
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Stepping out on Faith
These days and months have been flying by.
How can it already be time to file taxes? In all honesty, I think this is a date that sneaks up on almost everyone. Although there are those few admired and envied people who had their taxes completed, refund received and spent by January. It is apparent I am not one of them and will never be.
I guess when one's life is filled with stress, good and/or bad, it just seems to make the earth spin a bit faster, and all you can do is hold on and keep stepping.
I have recently accepted a new job, which on the face of it, is absolutely wonderful! It has been my goal to continue to improve my station in life in ways that are meaningful to me. One of the ways is to work hard, particularly as I get older, at maximizing my income as best I can. This new position was a step in that direction and I am truly happy and grateful. However, there was so much negative/positive emotion initially attached to this accomplishment, that I don't feel that I have been able to embrace the complete picture of my good fortune. The fact that I am still figuring out what I am doing and have not regained my confidence yet, has much to do with my general apprehension as well.
So here I step out on faith that I made the right decision and things will work out, as they should.
The boyfriend is back. Yes. The same one that sent me into a complete tailspin of depression and ...
Is now back trying hard to rectify his wrong. To be what he should have been from the beginning. When I look back on the loves in my life, as this incident has forced me to do, I wonder how I even survived some of the madness that is part of my history. And I know that most women look into their past with similar thoughts. It truly is amazing the strength we conjure when we need it. When we have no other choice. So here again, I must believe that everything happens for a reason. That my love for this man has some lesson for me. Some lesson for him...
Faith
So often we find ourselves doing the hard work of daily survival all alone. Working to make our lives, the lives of those we love better each day. Being tired and still moving forward. Still smiling and laughing.
Truly amazing.
My new mantra is: Jump. And the net will appear.
How can it already be time to file taxes? In all honesty, I think this is a date that sneaks up on almost everyone. Although there are those few admired and envied people who had their taxes completed, refund received and spent by January. It is apparent I am not one of them and will never be.
I guess when one's life is filled with stress, good and/or bad, it just seems to make the earth spin a bit faster, and all you can do is hold on and keep stepping.
I have recently accepted a new job, which on the face of it, is absolutely wonderful! It has been my goal to continue to improve my station in life in ways that are meaningful to me. One of the ways is to work hard, particularly as I get older, at maximizing my income as best I can. This new position was a step in that direction and I am truly happy and grateful. However, there was so much negative/positive emotion initially attached to this accomplishment, that I don't feel that I have been able to embrace the complete picture of my good fortune. The fact that I am still figuring out what I am doing and have not regained my confidence yet, has much to do with my general apprehension as well.
So here I step out on faith that I made the right decision and things will work out, as they should.
The boyfriend is back. Yes. The same one that sent me into a complete tailspin of depression and ...
Is now back trying hard to rectify his wrong. To be what he should have been from the beginning. When I look back on the loves in my life, as this incident has forced me to do, I wonder how I even survived some of the madness that is part of my history. And I know that most women look into their past with similar thoughts. It truly is amazing the strength we conjure when we need it. When we have no other choice. So here again, I must believe that everything happens for a reason. That my love for this man has some lesson for me. Some lesson for him...
Faith
So often we find ourselves doing the hard work of daily survival all alone. Working to make our lives, the lives of those we love better each day. Being tired and still moving forward. Still smiling and laughing.
Truly amazing.
My new mantra is: Jump. And the net will appear.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Flight of the Butterfly
No offense to the bumblebee
Beautiful San Diego, in the last few days has become even more spectacular!
Walking outside seems as if you are walking through a scene from Alice In WonderLand as you are surrounded by migrating butterflies with each step. They are flying all round you, bumping into you and enlightening your path with their beauty.
The rare migration of the Painted Lady Butterfly is in full swing and they are not detered by humans, cars or buildings in their way. Unfortunately, all of them will not make it to their final destination, but witnessing the process is utterly incredible.
They say that the beat of a butterfly wing can have an effect around the globe. Here is to positive effects and gorgeous ramifications!
http://biomed.ucsd.edu/butterfly.htm
Beautiful San Diego, in the last few days has become even more spectacular!
Walking outside seems as if you are walking through a scene from Alice In WonderLand as you are surrounded by migrating butterflies with each step. They are flying all round you, bumping into you and enlightening your path with their beauty.
The rare migration of the Painted Lady Butterfly is in full swing and they are not detered by humans, cars or buildings in their way. Unfortunately, all of them will not make it to their final destination, but witnessing the process is utterly incredible.
They say that the beat of a butterfly wing can have an effect around the globe. Here is to positive effects and gorgeous ramifications!
http://biomed.ucsd.edu/butterfly.htm
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